Disciple-Making Collective of Middle Tennessee

How to Start a Simple Church: From First Conversations to Thriving Faith Communities

Sun, 19 Oct 2025 20:21:46 +0000

The Simple Tools for Starting a Simple Church

Note: If you feel called by God to launch a simple church, don’t go alone! Find me at kevin@ourbeststory.com and let’s partner up. Or let me find someone close to you who can co-labor in your mission field! God is on the move.

2nd Note: In this article, I use simple church, house church, and micro-church interchangeably to cover a broader audience, but they can all be launched with these simple universal tools.

Imagine this!

The most natural experience of your day could become the catalyst for learning how to start a simple church community. That's how God works. He uses everyday people to lead transformational communities committed to His mission, spreading His BEST NEWS to a world desperate and hungry for answers.

We all have water-cooler discussions. The average person has around 85 casual conversations a week. Some of you, who are more talkative and outgoing (myself included), may have as many as 200. Can you picture those 85+ casual conversations serving as 85 opportunities for God to radically transform lives where you LIVE, LEARN, WORK, and PLAY?

What if knowing how to start a simple church wasn't reserved for pastors and missionaries, but was actually the calling of every single follower of Jesus?

Here's the scoop: the pathway from a simple spiritual conversation to a healthy, multiplying house church is less intimidating and more accessible than you've been taught. Starting this form of church doesn't require seminary training, professional ministry, or even a building. It just requires ORDINARY PEOPLE following the simple pattern Jesus modeled with His Apostles in the Gospels of the New Testament.

Why Simple Churches Work Today

In our fast-paced, skeptical culture, many people won’t walk into a traditional church building—but they’ll sit at your kitchen table. They’ll join you for coffee. They’ll talk about life while their kids play in the yard.

This is why the simple church model works: it’s reproducible, relational, and mission-driven. Anyone can start one, because it doesn’t rely on budgets, buildings, or programs. It relies on Jesus’ pattern—disciples making disciples, in ordinary spaces, with extraordinary Kingdom impact.

The Jesus Pattern of Making Disciples: Simple, Reproducible, Powerful

When Jesus launched His movement, He didn’t start with a strategic plan or a building campaign. He began with CONVERSATIONS. He met people where they were—at wells, in boats, walking down dusty roads, and He simply talked with them about the Kingdom of God.

Then He did something brilliant: He taught them to do the same thing. He simply asked them to “FOLLOW ME.” In other words, watch what I do, live like I live, and make disciples like I make disciples.

That’s the essence of a simple church: conversations that multiply into communities. If you’re learning how to start a house church in your home, neighborhood, or workplace, it begins not with a stage or a pulpit, but with the model Jesus showed us - sharing life, meals, stories, and the Good News in everyday settings.

How to Start a Simple Church

If you’re asking, “Where do I begin?” here’s the answer: start small. Begin with conversations in your oikos (Greek word for household—your network of relationships). Pray, invite, listen, and share. A simple church forms when those conversations grow into a regular gathering of people following Jesus together, praying, reading Scripture, sharing meals, serving, and multiplying into others.

This is not complicated, it’s simple, reproducible, and powerful. And it’s exactly how Jesus did it.

Working the Simple Church Soil: Begin with Intentional Prayer and Spiritual Conversations

Every great movement of God begins with passionate, honest, intentional prayer. Rodger Shull's study on disciple-making movements in America (buy the book here) found that the foundation of every successfully multiplying movement in America is prayer, fasting, and seeking the Lord.

“Every movement practitioner I’ve spoken with agrees that the real foundation of any successful movement is prayer, fasting, and seeking the Lord.” - Rodger Guigou Shull

With passionate prayer, we invite the Spirit of God to walk alongside us throughout our day. We ask Him to keep our eyes wide open and our senses keen for those around us who are ready to lean into the transformational work of God in their lives.

And then after passionate prayer and fasting, let’s start conversations.

My mentor, co-laborer, and friend, Dan Grider recognized that in the book of Acts several of the chapters had unique verse 42s. In each of these 42’s the disciples couldn’t stop sharing the news about their radical transformation! We call this the “Principle of the 42s”.

Acts 2:42 “They devoted themselves to listen to the apostles share about Jesus and his message”
Acts 5:42 “Day after day...they never stopped speaking about and sharing the amazing news about Jesus.”
Acts 9:42 “They spoke of what God had done all over Joppa, and many people believed in the Lord.”
Acts 10:42 “the Father compelled us to speak about these things to the people and to share our story that Jesus is the one whom God appointed as judge of the living and the dead.”
Acts 13:42 “As they were leaving the synagogue, the people invited them to speak further about the things God was up to the next time that they gathered.”

Jesus didn't launch His movement with mass rallies or marketing campaigns. He started simple intentional conversations. With a woman at a well. With fishermen mending nets. With tax collectors over dinner.

With prayer, we invite the Spirit of God to walk alongside us, opening our eyes to people ready for His work. And then we start conversations, just like Jesus did. At water wells. On fishing boats. Over dinner.

We bring Jesus wherever we find others leaning into spiritual conversations!

The pathway we're about to explore recognizes that all Kingdom work flows through relationships and conversations. But not just any conversations—spiritual conversations that have the power to change everything.

A spiritual conversation isn't a forced gospel presentation or an awkward attempt to corner someone with religious talk. As a matter of fact, we often say that the outcome of a successful spiritual conversation is NOT a spontaneous baptism. Of course, that WOULD BE included, but a successful spiritual conversation is always one that confronts tension in a person and leads to a next conversation.

A spiritual conversation will engage with the deeper questions and longings that every human heart carries. It's discovering how to navigate the natural progression from casual conversation ("How's the weather?") to crucial conversation ("I'm really struggling with my marriage") to spiritual conversation ("I wonder if God cares about what I'm going through").

This is where it all begins. One conversation. And one person showing genuine interest in another person's life and story.

The Simple Church Pathway: Simple, Biblical, Reproducible

Once someone becomes curious about Jesus through these conversations, they need a clear pathway to grow as a follower of Jesus. The beauty of the biblical model is its simplicity and reproducibility.

Here's how it unfolds:

The Seeker Group: Where Curiosity Meets Truth

When someone shows genuine interest in spiritual things, they're ready for what we call a Seeker Group. This isn't a Bible study for people who already believe, it's a safe space for spiritually curious people to explore big questions about life and faith.

Picture this —>You've had several meaningful conversations with a neighbor, coworker, or friend who has expressed curiosity about spiritual matters. You invite 2-4 of these people to meet regularly (maybe over coffee or in someone's living room) to explore life's biggest questions.

You might use a simple series like "Hope for the Sinner," "Hope for the Poor," or "Hope for the Lost.” These are stories from Scripture that speak directly to universal human needs. The goal isn't to convert anyone but to create space for honest exploration and discussion. These groups have no timelines or formality. They may last 2 weeks or 12 weeks. They are simply for the purpose of seeing who is willing to go “All In”.

Some of these seekers will lose interest and naturally exit. Others will become increasingly drawn to Jesus and His teachings. These are your Green Shoots, people showing real signs of spiritual growth and curiosity.

X-Groups: Where Disciples Are Forged

When someone decides to follow Jesus and they move from curiosity to commitment, they're ready for an X-Group. This is where real discipleship begins to happen.

An X-Group is a small, same-gender group (typically 3-5 people) that meets regularly for high-accountability spiritual growth. Think of it as a spiritual boot camp. These aren't casual Bible studies. They're intensive training grounds where new disciples learn the fundamental practices of following Jesus.

In an X-Group, participants use tools like:

The 21-Day Challenge: A structured program of daily prayer, Bible reading, and spiritual conversation practice
Three-Thirds meetings: A format that balances accountability (looking back), Scripture discovery (looking up), and mission commitment (looking forward)
Prayer mapping: Identifying and praying for people in their own relational networks
3-minute Story: Learning to share their personal testimony in a compelling, three-minute format.

The genius of X-Groups is that they're not just about personal growth—they're about multiplication. Every person in an X-Group is being trained to have spiritual conversations in their own networks and potentially launch their own Seeker Groups.

Discipling Communities: Where Faith Becomes Family

As people mature in their faith and their families want to become involved, X-Groups often evolve into Discipling Communities. These are larger, co-ed groups (usually 5-15 people) that function like extended family.

Discipling Communities practice what the early church called "one-anothering,” the 59 “one another” commands scattered throughout the New Testament.

They pray for one another, encourage one another, bear one another's burdens, confess sins to one another, and serve one another. These communities meet regularly (often weekly) and maintain the three-thirds structure, but with a broader focus on life-on-life discipleship. Children are included. Meals are shared. Real relationships are built. People practice generosity, hospitality, and mutual care.

Most importantly, everyone in a Discipling Community is actively engaged in mission. They're not just receiving ministry—they're doing ministry in their own contexts.

Simple Churches: Where a Discipling Community Becomes a Church

Here's where it gets really exciting. As Discipling Communities mature and grow, they begin practicing what we call the Nine Behaviors of Church:

Fellowship (genuine community and mutual care)
Passionate Praying (regular, earnest prayer together)
Worshiping (singing, celebrating, honoring God together)
Communion (regularly sharing the Lord's Supper)
Baptizing (immersing new believers in water)
Scripture (studying and obeying God's Word together)
Gospel sharing (actively sharing the good news)
Generous giving (sharing resources sacrificially)
Appointed leaders (recognized, accountable leadership)

When a community is regularly practicing all nine behaviors and self-identifies as a church, something beautiful happens: they self-identify as a Simple Church, Micro-Church or House Church.

They're not a small group that goes to church somewhere else. They ARE a church! They don't need permission from a denomination or a professional pastor to function as a legitimate expression of the Body of Christ. They have everything Scripture requires for a healthy local church.

The Power of Oikos: Your Built-In Mission Field

The secret to this entire pathway is understanding what the Bible calls oikos—your relational network. Your oikos includes your relatives, neighbors, coworkers, classmates, teammates, and anyone else connected to your daily life. It is the group of people with which you have a voice.

Acts 17:26-27 tells us that God has strategically placed every person in specific times and locations "so that they would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him." Your neighborhood isn't random. Your workplace isn't accidental. Your kids' school, your gym, your favorite restaurants—these are your God-ordained mission fields.

The beauty of this approach is that you don't need to become someone else or go somewhere else to make disciples. You simply learn to see the relationships God has already given you through Kingdom eyes.

Real Disciple-Making Tools for Ordinary Disciple-Making People

This pathway succeeds because it uses simple, reproducible tools that anyone can learn:

Prayer Maps: Simple diagrams showing the people in your life, with specific prayer for their spiritual journeys
SOAPS Bible Study: A method for personal Scripture reading that focuses on Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer, and Sharing
Three-Minute Testimonies: Your personal story of meeting Jesus, condensed into a powerful, three-minute narrative
Conversational Stepping Stones: Skills for recognizing and stewarding casual, crucial, and spiritual conversations
Three-Thirds Group Model: A meeting format that ensures every gathering includes accountability, Bible discovery, and mission commitment

These aren't complex strategies requiring years to master. They're practical tools that ordinary people can learn quickly and use immediately.

From Addition to Multiplication

Here's what makes this approach revolutionary: it's designed for multiplication, not just addition.

Traditional church models focus on getting more people to come to church services. This model focuses on training every believer to make disciples who make disciples who plant churches that plant churches.

Imagine a business owner who starts having spiritual conversations with customers and employees. Within months, several people give their lives to Christ and join an X-Group. As the group grows and families get involved, it becomes a Discipling Community. Eventually, they're baptizing new believers, sharing communion regularly, and functioning as a healthy Simple Church.

But it doesn't stop there. Each person in that church has learned the same tools and is practicing them in their own relational networks. Soon, multiple new Seeker Groups are forming, leading to new X-Groups, new Discipling Communities, and eventually new Simple Churches.

This is how movements spread. Not through programs or professionals, but through ordinary people who've learned to follow the Jesus pattern of disciple-making.

WHO HAVE LEARNED TO LOVE LIKE JESUS AND LIVE LIKE MISSIONARIES

Your Calling Is Closer Than You Think

The Great Commission wasn't given only to the twelve apostles. Jesus spoke these words to a group of over 500 followers (1 Corinthians 15:6). His command to "make disciples of all nations" was intended for every single person who claims to follow Him.

The question isn't whether you're called to make disciples. If you follow Jesus, you are. The question is whether you're willing to learn the simple, biblical pathway that makes disciple-making accessible to everyone.

Your next disciple might be the person sitting in the cubicle next to you. Your first Simple Church might grow out of conversations with your neighbors. The movement that impacts your city might start with spiritual conversations over coffee.

Where Will You Start?

This pathway has been tested in cultures around the world. It works in urban apartments and rural communities. It works with business professionals and blue-collar workers. It works with families and singles, young adults and seniors.

It works because it's not a human strategy—it's the biblical pattern Jesus modeled and the early church practiced. The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Not because God hasn't called enough people, but because too many of His people have been convinced that making disciples is someone else's job.

It is actually YOURS (and mine)!

Ready to Start Your Simple Church Journey?

This biblical pathway for how to start a simple church works in every culture, every setting, with every kind of person—because it's God's design. The Kingdom of God is as close as your next conversation.

When you understand how to start a simple church, you realize it's not about having perfect conditions or extensive training. It's about taking the first faithful step.

Are you ready to learn how to start a simple church in your community?

If you're interested in coaching or training in these simple church tools, email me at kevin@ourbeststory.com and let's get moving toward healthy simple church multiplication in your community.

Tracking Disciple-Making Movements: A Biblical Foundation and Stewardship Practice

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 16:26:37 +0000

Every disciple has a name, every name has a story, and every story belongs to God.

In today’s discipleship landscape, one of the most debated practices is tracking the progress of disciple-making movements. Some leaders welcome it as a way to measure growth and celebrate stories, while others worry it reduces people to data points.

But here’s the reality:

Tracking isn’t a modern idea—it’s a Biblical one

From Abraham’s covenant to Paul’s letters, God’s people have always tracked spiritual growth, multiplication, and generational blessing.

If we want to multiply disciples like Jesus and plant churches like Paul, we must recover the practice of tracking disciple-making networks in a way that honors God, serves people, and advances the gospel.

The Biblical Foundation for Tracking

Acts shows us early church reports: “about three thousand were added…” (Acts 2:41; Acts 4:4; Acts 6:7). These weren’t statistics; they were testimonies.
Jesus’ parables emphasize accountability—faithful servants report their return on investment. (Matthew 25:14–30; Luke 19:11–27)
Paul received reports and prayed specifically for individuals and churches. Tracking fueled intercession. (1 Thessalonians 1:2–3; Philippians 1:3–5; Colossians 1:3–4)
Abraham’s covenant required paying attention to generational blessing, family to family, nation to nation. (Genesis 12:1–3; Genesis 22:17–18; Galatians 3:8)

Tracking is not management—it’s stewardship. It’s worship.

Why Tracking Disciple-Making Movements Matters

1. Celebrating Multiplication
Tracking gives us a reason to stop and worship. Every baptism, every group, every generation is a testimony to God’s power.

2. Identifying Gospel Gaps
Where are disciples missing? Tracking highlights where the gospel has not yet taken root—whether it’s one street, one city, or an entire nation.

3. Measuring Vitality and Health
Are disciples obeying Jesus? Are groups multiplying? Are leaders emerging? Tracking helps us coach with clarity.

4. Stewardship and Care
No one should be forgotten. Tracking helps us care for the one while celebrating the many.

5. Connecting Networks
Tracking movements shows how relational networks overlap, fostering collaboration instead of competition.

Common Pitfalls in Tracking (and How to Avoid Them)

Numbers aren’t the problem. Our hearts are.

The Numbers Game – Faithfulness, not flashiness, is the measure.
Complexity Overload – Simple, reproducible systems always work best.
Security Concerns – Protect sensitive info, especially in persecuted contexts.
Pride and Competition – Keep the focus on worship, not comparison.

Practical Ways to Track Disciple-Making Movements

Start with Pathways
- Do they have a Bible?
- Are they reading it?
- Have they confessed faith in Jesus?
- Are they obeying and sharing?
Track Group Formation
From spiritual conversations → seeker groups → discipling communities → simple churches.
Follow Generations
Don’t just track first-generation groups. Multiplication is proven by second, third, and fourth generations.
Leverage Tech Wisely
Choose platforms that are simple, secure, and visual. Maps and generational trees can make movements visible.

Final Word: Tracking as Worship

When we track disciple-making movements, we aren’t reducing people to numbers—we’re lifting up testimonies of God’s faithfulness. We’re recording redemption in real time.

Tracking is testimony.
Tracking is stewardship.
Tracking is worship.

The question isn’t whether we should track. The question is how to track in a way that glorifies God and serves His people.

So let’s track—not for our pride, but for His Kingdom.

Because when every disciple has a name, and every name belongs to Jesus, we can see movements multiply and the gospel advance to the ends of the earth.

Three-Thirds Tool for Disciple-Making Communities

Sat, 16 Aug 2025 00:15:21 +0000

From Monologue to Dialogue to Transformation

Note: Stephen Covey says, “Always begin with the end in mind.” But, in disciple-making, we say, “Always begin with multiplication in mind.” Multiplication is the ultimate goal, but it never ends.

2nd Note: This tool is a slight modification to the 3/3 Tool used by many disciple-making movements around the world. I was coached and taught in this tool by Curtis Sargeant from Meta-Camp (metacamp.org).

FIND THIS TOOL IN A DOWNLOADABLE PDF HERE.

This tool is recommended for groups of 3 to 25.

Overview of the Tool

Three-Thirds simply means to divide your disciple-making group time into thirds and always treat each leg of the three-legged stool equally – Look Back - Look Up - Look Forward. If you are meeting for 1 ½ hours, each segment represents 30 minutes. If you are meeting for an hour, each segment lasts 20 minutes. This allows the group to give equal attention to each leg of the stool.

Think of the Three-Thirds process as a cycle repeating from meeting to meeting, not as a linear process that ends at the end of the meeting. Each “Look Back” section of the next meeting always points back to the previous “Look Forward” from the last meeting. This provides a robust rhythm of connection and accountability, where we hear from God, commit to obeying what God guides, and then, at the next meeting, circle back to the connection and accountability.

In this diagram, each segment of the meeting is dependent and relevant to the preceding and following segments. When we focus on looking back since the last meeting, we are looking at it through the eyes of how God is working in us, therefore we are looking up.

When we look up in the second third, we are also asking God how he wants us to respond to Him in the third section. When we look back on the first third, we are reviewing how obedient we were to God’s leading in our previous meeting. And so forth. The meeting works like a cycle, and each segment should relate to the other two segments.

What is the outcome, then, brothers and sisters? When you assemble, each one has a psalm, has a teaching, has a revelation, has a tongue, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for the edification of others. – 1 Corinthians 14:26

The Three-Thirds process is not a model, but a principle-based tool, so there is no set-in-stone way to lead the group. However, here are some sound principles that might help accomplish the goal of each segment.

Segment 1 - Look Back

Goal: The primary purpose of the “Look Back” Segment is to discuss how each person has progressed in their discipleship process since the group last met. It serves the purposes of accountability, encouragement, and edification. It never misses an opportunity to share spiritual conversations had in the places where the members live, work, and play since the last meeting!

Note: Depending on the length of each third and the volume of engagement with each group, you may need to adjust the following suggestions to ensure all three thirds receive significant attention within a manageable time frame.

Care

Before the group gets into the meat of the night, it is important to set the stage well. Depending on the group size and culture, it can be helpful to take a couple of rounds around the room and do some group pastoral care. Sometimes I’ll take one lap around and let each person share their highlight since we last met. Then we’ll take a second lap and ask what their greatest struggle has been since the last meeting. I’ll often ask each person to pray for the person to their left or right after each struggle is shared. This creates unity and care, but it can take time. Again, be conscious of giving each segment equal time.

For larger groups, you can divide them into groups of 2 or 3 to share their victories and battles since we last met, and let them follow the same process together in small groups. This is much more time-efficient and allows everyone to share more than they could in a large group.

You might also have an ice-breaker question that each person could answer in the larger group or in a small group. Be flexible and creative with this section. If you do the same thing over and over again, meeting after meeting, it will become stale and lose momentum.

Check-Up

The checkup segment is the most important part of the Look Back time! It is an opportunity for accountability and encouragement. Here are some questions that can drive the check-up time.

· How have you obeyed what the Holy Spirit spoke to you the last time we met?

· Who were you able to share with someone what you’ve learned since we last met?

· With whom were you able to share your story or God’s story since we last met?

Again, keep this segment fresh and relevant so it doesn’t become a duty for people to share. If someone is uncomfortable sharing, just move on and give them grace.

Coaching Conversations (NEVER SKIP)

The most critical activity we engage in at Our Best Story is sharing spiritual conversations with the people in the places where we live, work, and play. There is a leadership principle called the Pareto principle, named after the guy who authored it, that says that 80% of any results come from 20% of the causes. In other words, 20% of the activity in any process produces 80% of the progress. Spiritual conversations is a 20 % factor in any disciple-making effort. If you have to skip anything, do not skip this section!

These are some questions you can use to coach spiritual conversations.

Have you had any spiritual conversations since we last met? (Don’t skip this one!)

What was the result?

What questions did you ask?

What milk vs. meat stories did you tell?

What is your follow-up plan?

Segment 2 – Look Up

This segment of the three-thirds group is designed to explore the Story of God together. It is not intended to foster a teacher-pupil culture, but rather a group discovery process. Again, the three-thirds group is a principle-based tool, so don’t feel pressured to complete every step or ask every single question.

Follow the leading of the Holy Spirit.

The facilitator of the group should have a passage or a story selected to engage with the group. The most compelling story would emerge from a question or tension expressed in a previous meeting. “Just-in-Case” information is when we share a story just in case there’s someone who needs to hear it. Nine out of ten times, this is an ineffective method for discovering scripture together. “Just-in-Time” discovery addresses a relevant need in the lives of the disciples, and they will absorb the information and apply it to their situation.

A Three-Thirds Passage should be:

· Relatively Short
· Story-based in most cases
· Relevant to questions being asked by the group
· Can be chosen in a series of meetings, such as the “7 I-Ams of Jesus” or the “7 Miracles in the Book of John”

First Read Through

At the beginning of segment two, the facilitator asks who would be willing to read the passage aloud to the group. I recommend that no one else actually read their Bibles, but just set them aside and listen to the story. After the story is read, the facilitator asks the following two questions.

· Is there anything in this passage that you don’t like or that creates tension in you?

· What do you like most about this passage?

Tension

In OBS, we say, “There is no attention without tension.” That is the purpose of this first question. If members of the group are honest and vulnerable, this question will surface the internal conflict needed to find discipline-able conversations in the group setting. The group will do a good job discussing these tensions if trust and vulnerability are present in the group. It’s very important for the facilitator to set the culture by modeling an appropriate answer to the question, especially early on.

Likes

This question will surface what the Holy Spirit is trying to communicate to the member or the group from the passage being read. Make sure to press into “WHY” they like the principle and “WHAT” they like about it. What deeper message does it speak to them?

Second Read Through

At this point in the segment, have another person read through the same passage a second time. Make sure they have a different version of the Bible. Often, I’ll lean into a more palatable version, such as the Message or New Living Translation. This always surfaces new thoughts and feelings.

Then ask this set of questions.

· What does this teach us about the nature or heart of God or Jesus?

· What does this teach us about the nature or heart of people?

· *Where are you in this story?

· Who are you going to share this story with before we meet again?

This *third question is, by far, the most important one. This is the transition into segment three – the accountability leg of the stool, which is most often overlooked in group settings.

Segment 3 – Look Forward

In this segment, the goal is for each person to leave with 1-3 ACTION POINTS that they will accomplish before the group meets again. The facilitator takes notes so that in Segment One of the next meeting, they can follow up on these commitments.

The key to effective action points is that they don’t come from the facilitator, guilt, other members, or a sharp mind. They must come from the Holy Spirit.

So, how do we discern what the Holy Spirit is communicating to us?

WE ASK HIM!

This practice is the jet fuel for this segment of the group. If you miss this part, you’ll miss the power of the Three Third Process!

The Prayer

Pull out a timer on your phone or assign someone else to time the prayer. Tell the group that you are going to take 3 minutes to pray and ask God how He would like you to respond to this discussion.

What Does He Want You To Do About It?

This process began in the previous segment, but will be clarified here.

Sit in silence for three minutes to ask God what response He would like from YOU!

Each person asks themselves the question.

The Action Point Step

After the three minutes are up, let the group go around the room and share their accountability action point. Encourage everyone to share, but do so without being forceful. Make sure to write down the commitments so you’ll have them available in Segment One of the next group meeting. You will ask how things went with these action points next time!

Close the Group

After you have completed this step, you can have a prayer time to close the group. Make your prayers specific and powerful. God gives big answers to big asks. Believe together as a faith family. Don’t overdo it, but don’t take this act for granted or minimize it.

The Following examples are series that you can do with your Three-Thirds Group, which have been time-tested and found to produce good fruit in disciple-making communities.

Disciple-Making Series

HOPE SERIES (FOR SEEKERS)

Use the following passages for the “LOOK UP” portion of your group. Your group may need more than one meeting for some of the passages.

1. Hope for the sinner: Luke 18:9-14
2. Hope for the poor: Luke 12:13-34
3. Hope for the runaway: Luke 15:11-32
4. Hope for the lost: Luke 19:1-10
5. Hope for the grieving: John 11:1-44
6. Hope for the seeker: John 3:1-21

SIGNS OF JOHN (FOR SEEKERS)

Use the following passages for the “LOOK UP” portion of your group. Your group may need more than one meeting for some of the passages.

1. Turning of water into wine: John 2:1-12
2. Healing of the royal official’s son: John 4:46-54
3. Healing of the paralytic: John 5:1-17
4. Feeding of the five thousand: John 6:1-14
5. Walking on water: John 6:15-25
6. Healing of the man born blind: John 9:1-41
7. Raising Lazarus from the dead: John 11:1-46

DISCOVER SERIES (FOR GROUPS THAT NEED BIBLE BACKGROUND & FAMILIARITY)

Use the following passages for the “LOOK UP” portion of your group. Your group may need more than one meeting for some of the passages.

Discover God- who is God and what He is like

1. Creation- Genesis 1
2. Creation of People- Genesis 2
3. Disobedience of People- Genesis 3
4. Noah and the Flood- Genesis 6:5-8:14
5. God’s Promise with Noah- Genesis 8:15 - 9:17
6. God Speaks to Abraham- Genesis 12:1-7; 15:1-6
7. David becomes King of Abraham’s Descendants 1 Samuel 16:1-13; 2 Samuel 7:1-28
8. King David and Bathsheba- 2 Samuel 11: 1-27
9. Nathan’s Story- 2 Samuel 12:1-25
10. God Promises Savior will come- Isaiah 53

Discover Jesus - who is Jesus and why did He come

1. Savior born- Matthew 1:18-25
2. Jesus’ Baptism- Matthew 3:7-9, 13-15
3. Crazy Man Healed- Mark 5:1-20
4. Jesus never Loses Sheep- John 10:1-30
5. Jesus Heals the Blind- Luke 18:31-42
6. Jesus and Zacchaeus- Luke 19:1-9
7. Jesus and Matthew- Matthew 9:9-13
8. Jesus is the Only Way- John 14:1-15
9. Holy Spirit Coming- John 16:5-15
10. Last Dinner- Luke 22:14-20
11. Arrest and Trial- Luke 22:47-53; 23:13-24
12. Execution- Luke 23:33-56
13. Jesus is Alive- Luke 24:1-7, 36-47; Acts 1:1-11
14. Believing and Doing- Philippians 3:3-9

How We Use Self-Improvement to Justify the Root Problem of Sin

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 23:40:24 +0000

The Deceitful Imposter of the Sinful Nature

Justify: [juhs-tuh-fahy] verb. to show a reason or excuse for something done.

Justification.

Mr. J swaggered into my place of business about 9 years ago with the confidence of a quarterback who had just won his second straight Super Bowl.

Fearless. Firm. Assured.

He boldly announced that he could utilize my services as if he were doing me a huge favor. Over the next few days, Mr. J and I spent quite a bit of time together. As I began to converse with him and his story unfolded, I discovered that it was a bit more complicated than it initially appeared. I also found that his role in my life extended beyond business. His story would teach me some life lessons that have been stirring around in me ever since that first encounter in the little consignment shop.

Turns out Mr. J had been appointed to a high-level political position in the state of Alabama. His term was laced with multiple levels of corruption. At the time I began speaking with Mr. J, the FBI and State of Alabama had seized $18.2 million and his million-dollar home, in which I found myself visiting the weeks following our first meeting.

I liked Mr. J a whole lot. His personality was winsome, and he was just fun to be around. He was a storyteller, and it felt strangely like I was spending time with my beloved grandfather as we sat and talked about life, leadership, and lessons learned.

How could someone so enjoyable be in such trouble? There must have been some mistake.

The Price You Pay?

On my last visit to his home, we had some time to kill, so I mustered up the courage to ask Mr. J some questions.

“Mr. J, how does it feel to know you're going to prison?”

He didn’t bat an eye as he thoughtfully began to answer my question.

“It’s not going to be much of a sentence - a year and a half probably when it’s all done. They’re taking my home, but I’ve got a couple more vacation homes that are nicer than this one, anyway. Hell, I’ll have $6,000 per month coming to me from just my government pension that they can never even touch.”

For some reason, none of that seemed to shock me. What sent my mind reeling over the past few years was the next statement that came out of his mouth.

“It’s just the price you pay for public service.”

The price you pay for public service?!?

As much as I wanted to like Mr. J, I realized that he had taken his corruption and turned it into a heroic act of valor for which he was going to have to pay an unjust penalty. He was claiming, right there in that living room funded by state tax money over a period of many years, that he was A MARTYR of sorts!

Mr. J was justifying his behavior.

UNBELIEVABLE, huh? Who could be so tragically blind?

It Couldn’t Be Me!

A week ago, I was driving home from work after one of the most difficult weeks of my life. I began to ask myself if my experience was a result of my rebellion against God’s ways, so I asked Him if there was anything in my life I should confess and change. Just as if I were talking to one of my kids on an early morning ride to school, I heard Him say,

“Go to bed.”

Go to bed? I ask you what I could change about my life, and you say, “Go to Bed?”

“But I’m a night owl. The only time of the day that I can actually get things done and not be interrupted is late at night. I get so much done.

What would I do without the extra hours in the day? God, it’s just not practical. It’s the way YOU made me.”

“Just go to bed,” He said.

I was up till after midnight that night and until 3 AM the following. I just had too much to do.

Sin is SINGULAR.

We love to make sin plural. The countless number of selfish external behaviors are low-hanging fruit and easy targets for our legalistic and religious self-improvement plan. It gives us something to feel good about when we eliminate one of these sin imposters. I’m not going to name them, you know them well. The taboo habits and attitudes that we try to preach or teach out of our adherents to Christian culture.

But, my friend, sin is not a subset of unhealthy behaviors. Sin is a singular problem. It is a nature that came to life in us when the serpent’s fruit became more enticing than a relationship with the Maker. It bursts outward in behavior, but it’s not the behavior itself; it is the source of our sinful symptoms.

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear…
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. -Gal. 5:19-23

Because we make sin plural, we have the ability to place ourselves in a hierarchy of sinners (and/or one of righteousness). We feel good about being better than 1,309,256 other people, because our external “sins” are less egregious than those of our neighbor. It gives us our favorite tool in the toolbox of our flesh… justification.

The problem with this method of relating to God is that if we are to embrace it, we must ask the question: “Where is the line between evil and good?” Am I a holy person if I rank below #1,000,000 on the most sinful list, or do I need to reach the level of #5,000,000?

Ridiculous, right? Of course it is!

Singular sin - in other words - the SIN NATURE - makes me just as guilty and bound up as my drunk, sexually confused, grumpy neighbor! As a matter of fact, not only is the sin equal in nature, the SAME SINGULAR SIN that resides in that joker, is the exact sin nature that resides in my heart, because we both inherited it from the same source - REBELLION in the garden.

I tell my kids that they need to get in bed because nothing good happens after 9 PM. And there I go on my long-winded pontification about how my “after-hours” indulgence is somehow different because I get so many “good” things done after everyone else goes to bed.

Justification.

The truth is God called the light Day, and the darkness he called night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. He made our bodies and minds function in a rhythm. My desire to live above that by creating new hours in my day is an attempt to be my own God. That is a pretty cut-and-dry definition of Sin. I think I can do this life thing better by writing my own instruction manual.

JUSTIFICATION.

Now, before you start feeling all guilty about working nights or weekends or whatever, let me just affirm that this is an area of MY life that God is working on. He is incredibly creative in working with each of us, tailoring our approach to our uniqueness. Some folks have to work through the night or through the weekend. It’s not about this one issue, but another singular issue: justification.

Mr. J was a wonderful man with a corrupt heart, no different from the rest of us. The temptation for me was to view him somehow as evil. That makes me feel much better about my white lies and procrastination. However, the gospel truth is, Mr. J and Kevin B are simply products of the first rebellion.

Maybe our target should be to have a heart soft enough to hear the voice of the Lord whispering in our ear. For me, that voice was whispering,

“Go to bed.”

I rebelled.

This morning I awoke to my wife lying her head on my stomach. She spoke softly with a bit of fear in her voice. She’s afraid of how I might react to her thoughts. I hear her force out the words that were hard for her to utter.

“I need you to get up earlier in the mornings.”

Yes, God, I hear you. But, I just can’t seem to make it happen!

The Solution

So, how do we do battle against this raging sin nature that resides in our hearts?

If self-improvement and behavior management are not the answer, then what is?

Paul gives us the answer throughout his writings: We cannot defeat sin by our own efforts. The problem is not just external actions but the very root within, the sinful nature that enslaves us. Paul writes in Romans 7 about this inner struggle, confessing his inability to do what is good, because sin dwells within him.

But here’s the good news that Paul points to in Romans 8 and throughout his letters:

The solution is union with Christ. When we place our faith in Jesus, His death and resurrection, something supernatural (beyond natural ability) happens. The old sinful nature is crucified with Christ (Galatians 2:20). We are given a new nature by the Spirit of God who now lives within us (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Paul says in Romans 8:1-2, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” The battle is not won by willpower but by walking in the Spirit and letting Him produce His fruit within us, love, joy, peace, and self-control, replacing the fruit of the sinful nature.

This means daily surrender and reliance on the Spirit’s power, rather than relying on our self-improvement plans. It means dying to self, admitting that justification is a gift, not a reward for better behavior, and living in the freedom of God’s grace.

So the real fight is a spiritual one — one won not by striving to cover up sin, but by letting Christ’s life transform us from the inside out.

In that freedom, the singular problem of sin is no longer our master; we are no longer bound to justification, but we are free children of God, empowered to live in a new way.

God Gave His Life For Us.
To Give His Life To Us.
To Live His Life Through Us.
-Major Ian Thomas

This is the heart of the solution to the problem of the sin nature. It’s not about mustering more effort, hiding our failures, or playing the justification game. It’s about receiving the life of Jesus Himself, who conquered sin and death on our behalf.

When we accept His gift and surrender to His Spirit, His life begins to flow through us, transforming our hearts and empowering us to live beyond the prison of sin. This is the true victory — not in our striving, but in His living.

May we stop trying to fix the symptoms and instead embrace the gift of the Healer! Because in Christ, the singular sin nature is met with the singular source of life.

20 Discipleship Questions that Spark Awesome Spiritual Conversations

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 11:50:53 +0000

Jesus used two tools to launch a spiritual movement that changed the world forever – discipleship questions and stories. Almost every recorded conversation we have between Jesus and another person started or ended with a question or a story. Questions and stories cause us to break outside our presumptions, think more clearly, and come to a better understanding of what we really believe. This deeper level communication becomes a harvest field for spiritual conversations.

The key to moving a conversation from casual to crucial and surface to spiritual is asking the right questions. It doesn’t mean that there are specific questions that are “right,” but that you are asking the “right” type of question. Jesus crafted questions that were very targeted to the person he was speaking to.

What Type of Discipleship Questions Start Spiritual Conversations?

Understanding categories of questions and their characteristics will help you determine what question you should ask to peel the next layer off a conversation.

Two broad categories of questions are open-ended and closed-ended questions. Each of these types of questions has a purpose.

"once you know where someone stands and are ready to understand WHY they embrace beliefs, it’s time to move to open-ended questions."

Open-ended Questions vs. Closed-ended Questions

Closed-ended questions are helpful to quickly understand where someone stands on a specific issue or idea. They can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” or some other one-word answer. However, once you know where someone stands and are ready to understand WHY they embrace beliefs, it’s time to move to open-ended questions.

Characteristics of Open-ended Discipleship Questions

Here are a few characteristics of an open-ended question:

Open-ended questions

require an answer of more than a couple of words
allow someone to give a free-from answer
lead to more open-ended questions
allow you to find out more than you hoped for
uncover motivations and reasons for beliefs
allow you to engage in deeper level discussions
often start with “how,” “why,” or “what.”

What Type of Questions Dive Deeper than Surface Opinions?

You can ask open-ended questions that elicit either emotion or thought. Both of those types of questions are great to take a conversations to the next level. Emotional open-ended questions often cause people to want to engage and dive deeper. Thoughtful open-ended questions often cause people to want to reason with the other person.

It is difficult for people to be emotional and logical at the same time. Therefore, if you are wanting someone to reason with you, questions that evoke emotion are not necessarily the best route to take. When people are experiencing emotions, they tend to not be willing to challenge their logic about an issue.

On the other hand, if you are wanting to evoke emotion in a person to draw them into a deeper conversations, then stay away from thinking questions.

Examples of Feeling and Thinking Questions…

Feeling	Thinking
How do you feel about…	What do you think about…
Is ___________ fair?	Is ____________ right?
What was your reaction to…	What are your thoughts about…

Each Open-ended Question is a Stepping Stone to the Deep Waters

Remember trying to make your way across a creek when you were a kid and you would take one step on a rock emerging from the surface of the water and then start looking for the next rock. That’s similar to navigating through a conversation with a goal of getting to the deeper waters.

As you progress through the talk, try to craft your next question in a way that will go just one baby step deeper. If you do this well, it will only take a few questions to get to the things that really make a difference. The twenty questions below take that progression so you can get a feel for taking baby steps.

20 Discipleship Questions to Take a Conversation to the Next Level

With all that in mind, here are 20 general questions to help you move a conversation from surface to spiritual or casual to crucial. Remember these are just sample questions. In order to be most effective, practice crafting questions like these that are relevant to the conversation at hand.

How did that make you feel?
What do you think about ___________?
How do you feel about that idea?
Did you experience that when you were younger?
Are you familiar with the history behind that?
Who influenced you most on that idea?
Where do you think that idea comes from?
How does that change your perspective?
How does that line up with your values?
What values do you have that drove that decision?
Where does that lead if nothing changes?
Do you think there is a purpose for that?
How can that tragedy be used for good in your life?
What will life look like down the road if that problem is not solved?
What’s God up to in all this?
Does that line up with how God designed things to work?
How does God factor into that experience?
Does faith impact how you feel about _______________?
Does your faith change how you will move forward with this?
Where do you see God moving in all of this?

Some Helpful Resources for Making Disciples

There are some great resources online for sharpening your discipling skills and asking discipleship questions. As a matter of fact, some of this content was inspired by teachings from Dan Grider and the Ignite Discipleship Network. Make sure to check out Dan Grider’s book on Crucial Spiritual Conversations HERE.

The Great Team (APEST) and How To Make Disciples Together

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 10:40:03 +0000

The 5-fold ministry is a phrase that has gained popularity over the past couple of decades. But what is it? And why is it important to grow the church in the 21st century?

Every statistical study currently indicates that, in relation to population trends, the American church is shrinking at an alarming rate. This model of church leadership has to be rediscovered for the Church in America to multiply once again. Meanwhile, the absence of the Biblical leadership structure cripples the church.

What is the 5-Fold Ministry?

The APEST, as we refer to it, is a model of church leadership that encompasses five specific functions designed to multiply disciples, particularly among unreached people groups. It is based on the passage in Ephesians 4:11-16.

11 And He gave some as apostles, some as prophets, some as evangelists, some aspastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the building up of the body of Christ; 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.

14 As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of people, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; 15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, that is, Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.

Click Here to See Full Passage

Greg Getz from Legacy Initiative Network says that God has given us the Great Commission and the Great Commandment, and Ephesians 4:11 may be His Great Strategy. The scripture makes clear the purpose of the five functions – to build up the church and promote spiritual maturity. These five functions must be activated for growth toward unity and maturity to occur.

What are the functions of the 5-Fold Ministry?

Here is an overview of the five functions listed in Ephesians 4:11. Notice that we don’t refer to them as roles. There is no hierarchy of leadership. The functions are not titles given to New Testament leaders. They are descriptive terms identifying the strengths and gifts of leaders in the early church. It appears that specific individuals fulfill these functions, as Paul says that God “has given some as.” This indicates particular gifting to individual people to fulfill the goal of the maturity and unity of the Church.

The Apostle

Definition [Grk. Apostolos] – Someone, or something, sent. Derived from the verb “to send out.” In the New Testament, it usually refers to someone sent as an authorized agent by Jesus or the Christian community (Matt 10:2; 2 Cor 8:23; Heb 3:1). [see the Lexham Bible Dictionary]

This term is often used both in teaching and in scripture to represent the original 11 plus Judas’ replacement, Matthias, who walked with Jesus. And even Peter, when qualifying a candidate for Judas’ replacement said that a chosen Apostle must have walked with the disciples and witnessed Christ’s resurrection (see Acts 1:21-22.) It is true that Jesus’ original Apostles are no longer accessible to the Church except through their writings.

However, the term was used more generally among Jews and even other cultures in the first century as meaning a representative sent with a message – a “delegate.” It’s not simply someone who HAS a message, but someone who was SENT by another to relay a message as a representative of the sender. As a matter of fact, the New Testament lists more than 20 apostles directly mentioned in the New Testament.

Other Apostles Mentioned in the New Testament

Paul (Saul) – Repeatedly calls himself an apostle (Romans 1:1, Galatians 1:1)
Barnabas – Called an apostle in Acts 14:14
James, the Lord’s brother – Recognized as an apostolic leader (Galatians 1:19)
Apollos – Not directly called “apostle” but considered a church-planting leader
Silas (Silvanus) and Timothy – Some argue they carried apostolic function (1 Thess. 2:6)
Andronicus and Junia – Called “outstanding among the apostles” (Romans 16:7)

Therefore, the function of an apostle in the 5-fold ministry is to carry the message of the Gospel to an unreached people group. The apostle is the first on the ground to build a beachhead for a movement of the Kingdom of God among a people group who have not heard. The function of the Apostle is to launch a faith movement and plant churches for the Kingdom of God to multiply.

The Prophet

Definition [Grk. prophetes] – one who speaks forth or openly, a proclaimer of a divine message. [See Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words.]

This term is also often confused with the specific role of an Old Testament Prophet whom God appointed to be a spokesman for Him. The Hebrew word translated prophet is Nabi, which means to “bubble forth, as from a fountain” [see Easton’s Bible Dictionary.] This role received specific messages from God to instruct the people of God in what was right.

This could be included in the New Testament function of a prophet. But more generally, it is what I like to refer to as a sensitivity to God's leading. This is a gift to intuitively know right from wrong or when the church is veering off course from God’s will and plan.

The function of the prophet is essential to the church and particularly to the apostle, who can often compromise faithfulness to God’s plan for the sake of growth. The true prophet will feel the weight of their gifting and handle the leading of God with respect and stewardship. Also, the leadership and scripture should test the message of the prophetically gifted person.

The Evangelist

Definition [Grk. evangelistēs] One “announcing good news.” In a general sense, this applies to anyone who proclaims the mercy and grace of God, especially as unfolded in the gospel. [see New Unger’s Bible Dictionary.]

The Evangelist of the 5-Fold Ministry is the proclaimer of the Good News that Jesus came to redeem humanity and that redemption is available to all who can walk in faith. The Good News [Grk. Euangelion] was not a religious term in the age of the Greeks and Romans. Alexander the Great proclaimed his “euangelion” that if the people would submit to him, he would bring the best education, entertainment, healthcare, sporting events, and technology. The evangelist proclaims the news of the goodness that will come with the Kingdom of God. This includes redemption, forgiveness, and freedom.

The Shepherd

Definition [Grk. poimen] Shepherd. A helper or feeder of the sheep.

The shepherd or pastoral role of the 5-fold ministry is meant to be a healing role. You’ve heard the adage, People don’t care what you know until they know that you care. That is a great principle regarding the shepherd in Ephesians 4:11. The Shepherd’s role is to serve as God’s hands and feet to provide care for the Church. As hearts are restored, heads are prepared to hear the truth of scripture. The shepherd will be characterized by the desire to give oneself away for the sake of others in the Body of Christ.

The Teacher

Definition: [Grk. didaskalos] One who instructs others in the truth of scripture.

A teacher in a discipleship multiplication can accurately handle the word of truth [see 2 Timothy 2:15.] The teacher can break down the fundamental truths of the Bible and communicate them in a way that the disciple can both understand and apply. He is necessary to move disciples toward a more mature faith. He also protects the Church from false prophets who come in to serve their motives.

Why APEST?

Is there a design for the order of the functions in the APEST?

Getz identifies the problem with the current leadership structure of the Western institutional Church. We’ve shied away from the apostle due to the confusion that the original 12 have died. People claim the role of prophet and use it for power. The evangelist is great, but he also brings in the riff-raff, so he’s been subcontracted into para-church work. The shepherd and teacher have been combined into one, serving as the modern rock-star pastor. That leaves us with an anemic and crippled leadership structure.

It is very likely, although not necessarily Biblical, that the order of the function is intentional. God launched new movements of Jesus’ followers after the disciples of Jesus were scattered to other lands outside Jerusalem. As you consider how this would have to take place, you can see the order in the 5-fold ministry.

Why the Order of APEST?

The first need would be for an apostle to break ground by finding a person of peace. He introduces Jesus to a new people group. The apostle is a connector who builds credibility and meets new people who will become members of that movement. The apostle tends to be a bit of a loose cannon. It’s essential for him to have a prophet by his side to keep him on the rails and laser-focused on the mission.

The movement needs to expand its numbers after the initial beachhead is established. That’s when the evangelist becomes a crucial figure in the next phase of missional work. As new believers come to know Jesus, the shepherd begins to invest in their spiritual growth and healing. The teacher establishes correct beliefs, and their hearts and emotions are healed. He assures accountability to obey the scripture.

The order of the functions in Ephesians 4:11 is another indicator that the 5-fold ministry was God’s Great Strategy.

Is an APEST Assessment Necessary?

Assessments can be helpful to point you in the right direction as you begin to discover your function. However, they are not necessary. Descriptions and characteristics of the 5-fold ministry functions are all you need. They will help identify how God would have you serve in a discipleship movement.

Remember that God gave these five functions to leaders of the discipleship movement. They are intended to build up the Church and create unity. If you don’t identify yourself in any of these functions, be patient. God may still be preparing you on a personal level before He calls you into a specific Ephesians 4:11 function.

Why Should I Use a Prayer Map?

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 10:16:38 +0000

"I don't feel comfortable putting names on a piece of paper,
It makes me feel like they're just a project." -Amanda

She said it with such purity of heart and deep love for her friends and family. I respected that. But I leaned in, gave her a gentle smile, and said, “Amanda, this process is actually one of the most loving and kind things you can do for the people you care about most. Let’s talk about this.”

What Is a Prayer Map?

One of the first tools we introduce to new disciples is the “Prayer Map.” It’s incredibly simple, yet powerfully effective for achieving long-term, generational impact. The earlier a disciple gets this in their hands, the sooner they begin seeing their relationships, where they live, work, and play, as their mission field. And just like that, they start to live as missionaries.

Why It Matters.

Disciple-making is often intangible. During the first ten to fifteen years of this journey of decentralized disciple-making, I would lie in bed at night and anguish that I couldn’t see, hear, feel, touch, or taste the fruit of my labor. I was working harder than I’d ever worked in church planting or as a traditional pastor. I was pouring out my heart to new believers and seasoned church attenders who were embracing new values and practices as they learned to live like missionaries among their friends and coworkers. We were launching simple churches, discipling communities, and investing deeply in the leaders.

BUT! I COULD NOT SEE IT! And it drove me bonkers.

In a Sunday-centric church, you have people in the building at least once per week! Heck, as far as that goes, you have a building! Even if it’s an elementary gym or a movie theater where your feet stick to the floor from last night's spilled Sprite. You can see it, smell it, and hear your feet peel off the sticky sugar when you walk across the floor. BUT, in a decentralized network, it’s all you can do to get your 12 simple church leaders together in one room.

It’s super discouraging!

And not just for the catalyst who is overseeing the whole thing, it’s also hard for the simple church leaders to see and experience the work of the Spirit as it 1“blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going.”

The enemy leverages the intangibility of the growth of the movement by whispering in your ear late at night, “You’re not seeing any fruit. You’ve been laboring for three years now, and look around. NOTHING HAS HAPPENED.” You know it’s a lie designed to suck the missional fuel out of your tank, but as you think about it, you begin to believe it and lose heart and think maybe it’s time to throw in the towel.

This doesn’t only happen in network circles, it happens in our everyday disciple-making lives. We miss the work of the Holy Spirit. The enemy blinds us because we have failed to create a representation to celebrate the fruit that our work in the field has produced.

Enter Prayer Maps.

Some call them oikos maps or disciple-making maps. They start as humble, simple expressions of a person’s transformation from a casual Sunday church attender to an intentional, strategic disciple-maker. For those who embrace a long-term disciple-making lifestyle, it becomes their prayer list, their accountability tool, and even their proverbial church building.

Your Map as a Prayer List

Back in the day, I used to keep a literal notebook that served as a reminder to pray for specific needs that came across my path. You may still use a bullet point version of a prayer list, whether it’s on paper or a digital platform.

It worked great.

I’d have a single prayer on each page with notes on how the need was progressing and a space to add a date when the prayer was answered. I still occasionally use lists like that for specific requests, such as health issues, financial needs, and non-disciple-making issues. But anything related to multiplying disciples goes on my “official” prayer map.

The advantage of this method is that it reminds me of God's activity in each disciple-maker and their downline. So, if I pull out my prayer map and see Jonathan’s name attached to his seeker friend, Sam, I recognize that I haven’t touched base with Jonathan to see how his discipling relationship with Sam is going. And before I pick up the phone to call Jonathan, I stop and pray that he’ll have the words, ideas, and time to be an effective discipler to Sam.

I also have each of those people color-coded: green bubbles represent those who have made at least one disciple, yellow bubbles represent believers who have not yet adopted a disciple-making lifestyle, and red bubbles represent those who have not yet been born again. This allows me to pray appropriate prayers for each person on the list, including praying that God would give me the right words and tools to coach their disciple-maker. There is a ton of information and accountability present on my disciple-making prayer map. We’ll talk about that later.

Your Prayer Map as an Accountability Tool

You’ve probably experienced this before. You find someone named Mary who is disciple-able and ready to grow in their walk with Jesus, and you start to invest in her over coffee. She gets fired up and engages for three meetings, and then she doesn’t show up for the fourth meeting because she has a dentist appointment. She comes next week and then misses two. Before you know it, six months later, you haven’t even thought of Mary (or prayed for her) since she cancelled on you four weeks ago. And guess what!? You won't think about her again until you see a Facebook post or run into them at XYZ coffee. You won’t, I promise (unless the Holy Spirit chooses to confront our disciple-making malpractice and bring her to mind despite us).

The good news - your prayer map is your unpaid personal assistant in this case!

I visit my prayer map at least once a month to update it and pray over it. I take the time to pray for every individual or disciple-making group listed (your monthly half-day of prayer is a good rhythm for this). And then I run across, guess who, Mary! It serves as a reminder to touch base with her and check in on how things are going.

Now, is that a man-made system or the work of the Holy Spirit? YES! The Holy Spirit did the work of confronting Mary with the Gospel, and I did the work of being a good disciple-making steward.

Your Prayer Map as Your Proverbial Church Building

Church buildings cost A LOT of money! The mortgage, upkeep, staff to keep the doors open, security, lights, air conditioning, water, etc. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s worth every penny for the Body of Christ to gather face-to-face and experience body life together.

But, it doesn’t generally work like that in disciple-making networks. You don’t get together in large buildings; you get together in living rooms, coffee shops, and break rooms. And you don’t have your entire family gathering weekly, that is reserved for special events like All-Gatherings.

The Deal with Decentralized Networks

The Upside: personal touch, easily scalable, inexpensive, and everybody gets to participate.

The Downside: less group synergy, lack of financial support, no gathered critical mass, and INTANGIBILITY!

Intangibility is what can lead to that feeling I mentioned, late at night, when you question whether you’ve seen any spiritual fruit in the past year. The work of the Spirit often hides in the bushes in a decentralized network. You know it’s happening because you hear the stories when you sub-coach your DM leaders. But you don’t see it, hear it, taste it, smell it, feel it.

As a matter of fact, beyond the 2nd generation of fruit, you may not even know the names of those who are being radically transformed by the work that the Lord started through you five years ago. It can be outright life sucking!

The Prayer map in the ONE tool provides you with a birds-eye view of the work of God in your disciple-making network! During that sleepless late night when the enemy is whispering in your ear that God is not up to anything and he is holding out on you, you can hit the flashlight button on your iphone, sneak out of bed so your wife isn’t disturbed, tiptoe down the stairs to try to avoid waking up the kids, slide open your desk drawer or fire up your computer, and bask in the glory of the actity of the Holy Spirit on your prayer map.

Who Goes on the Prayer Map?

Great Question!

Your prayer map should be a visual representation of the people God has called you to disciple, whether that means praying for opportunities to share the Gospel, hoping a cultural Christian becomes a true follower of Jesus, or casting a vision for them to become a community leader.

You run across hundreds of people each week - at the grocery store, at work, on the ball field, etc. Most of those people cross your path by accident, but there are those few who you know are in your life on purpose. Paul says in 2Acts that God chooses for each person the time and place where they live, so that we will all reach out and search for Him.

Who in your everyday life has God placed close to you ON PURPOSE?

You know who they are and that’s who goes on your prayer map!

What to Track on Your Prayer Map

Your prayer map is… well… it’s yours! It is designed to serve you, not your network or your leaders. So, make it yours. I mentioned at the beginning of this article that Amanda felt that building her prayer map was impersonal. I was happily surprised when I got her first map back and she had “customized” it to make it feel more personal to her!

Your prayer map is a living document!

It is forever changing and never static. Every month, I remove people who are no longer with us and add new disciples who are embracing the culture. If I am not evolving my prayer map, then something is wrong with our network! That’s why it’s crucial to track different types of data on your prayer map using color codes or symbols.

What I Track on My Prayer Map

I can’t say this enough: your prayer map is yours!

There are no rules to prayer mapping. You track what is helpful for you to track and do it in a way that makes sense to you!

My Individual Tracking

First and Last Name
Color Coded Based on Disciple-Making Journey
- ? Red = unbeliever
- ? Yellow = believer not making disciples
- ? Green = Disciple-Maker
Connecting lines to a disciple-maker or a disciple-making community
Connecting line to next-gen disciples

My Group Tracking

☁️ Cloud denotes a disciple-making community
⭐️ Star denotes a faith-based non-profit with a disciple-making culture
? Triangle denotes a disciple-making missional business
Different Colored Clouds Represent Different Group Types
- X-Group: 3-5 same-sex sex highly accountable, regularly meeting
- Community: 5-25 co-ed sharing in a common mission
- Simple Church: any number practicing the 9 behaviors of church life, plus self-identifying as a church

Connecting Lines

⬆️ To upline disciple maker
⬇️ To downline disciple

Conclusion

So, that’s the skinny on disciple-making prayer maps!

If you need coaching or help with launching a disciple-making network, find us here.

Now! Get out there and start making disciples. Here are some tools to get started.

Find Other Great Tools!

The 3 Types of Conversations - Casual, Crucial, Spiritual

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 09:37:12 +0000

Spiritual conversations can get awkward!

You’ve had that talk before – the one that caused you to change your neighborhood walking route. It was just uncomfortable. You were thankful she cared enough to strike up a conversation, but she just didn’t know when to stop. Or how to avoid crossing the line into your personal space. So you graciously avoided her – hoping she doesn’t think you’re just being rude.

Maybe you’ve also instigated that conversation. We can be so anxious to have spiritual conversations that we go a bit overboard. It’s wonderful! It’s a beautiful thing to share Jesus with your neighbor, or co-worker, or the parent at the basketball court.

But if you are not wise and strategic, it could be your last opportunity at a discipling relationship with your new friend. You may limit your opportunity to share Jesus with him to a one shot deal. And in light of a huge credibility gap you have with that perfect stranger, it’s unlikely that you’ll make an impact with one meeting.

Three Types of Conversations and How To Manage Each

At DMC, we talk about three types of conversations. The differentiator between those talks relates to the depth they go. You’ll find yourself in a number of conversations throughout the week that we refer to as casual conversations. A few of those will drive a bit deeper and become crucial. And if you ask the right questions and tell the right stories, some of those will become spiritual conversations.

Casual Conversations

The conversation that we categorize as casual happens many times on any given day. It could be as simple as a quick conversation about the weather or how well a kid has been playing in the local sports league.

These conversations have no real depth and usually involve no emotional response. For example, you might lean toward a parent and say, “Wow! Johnny is really shooting the ball nicely today.” Although they may seem totally surface and purposeless, they are the conversations that become the doorway to deeper talks.

On average, you will have about 85 of these casual conversations per week. Dan Grider encourages us to try to increase this number to about 200 or more. As you engage in more casual conversations, you’ll also see an increase in crucial and spiritual conversations.

Crucial Conversations

Conversations that we categorize as crucial are those that dive deeper and include emotional or relational significance. These conversations move one step closer to becoming spiritual conversations.

For example, the conversation about how well Johnny is shooting the basketball may transition to crucial with a question such as, “By the way, how is Johnny doing with the loss of his Grandfather?” This engages the person at the next level and shifts the talk from casual to crucial.

Crucial questions are the bridge to spiritual conversations.

Spiritual Conversations

The goal of the disciple-maker is to lead to the most important category of conversation – the spiritual conversation. These engage your friend to think about faith, eternity, or another spiritual issue. A spiritual conversation is most likely not a church invitation. At DMC, we call that “going church” on someone. That will most likely cause someone to change their afternoon walking route, just like you changed yours earlier.

Stay focused on asking questions that are timely and relevant to the user. Ask those that make them think about spiritual matters. We call these “just in time” questions instead of “just in case” – the questions that are asked right when a person needs to hear them. Don’t rush to these questions. The Holy Spirit will lead you when the time is right. If they don’t come naturally, pray for a future opportunity to dig deeper.

As Johnny’s mom tells me that Johnny is struggling with his transition, I may ask something like, “How are you doing, Amy? Do you have the support you need during this time? Would it be okay if I pray with you right now?”

Relevant Questions and Genuine Stories – The Conversation Bridges

There can be a wide gap between the three types of conversations. It may seem like the gap is so wide that it’s difficult to get from one to the other. The bridge to close the gap can be a relevant question or a genuine story.

We’ve already talked about relevant questions. The genuine story is an experience you’ve had that offers hope for a person to resolve spiritual conflict. It could be a story about how you overcame a similar obstacle. Or it may be a story that illustrates a passage of scripture that speaks to the internal struggle.

“Amy, I remember the months following my dad’s car accident. Sometimes it felt like I couldn’t even get out of bed. Over time I trained myself to rest in the fact that God knew exactly what I was going through and would help me overcome the pain I was experiencing.”

Spiritual Conversations Take Practice

Each of these types of conversation takes practice. Even the most simple one requires us to get out of our comfort zone and initiate the talk. The more we force ourselves to ask the first question, the easier and more comfortable it gets.

If you’d like to learn more about spiritual conversations, check out Dan’s book, Crucial Conversations.

Loneliness, Isolation and Discipleship in Men

Sat, 10 May 2025 09:00:00 +0000

There is a massive problem rearing its head in 21st-century American Culture. Men do life alone. They just do. Loneliness and Isolation is eating at us from the inside out. Work has become so cut throat that people are afraid to trust. We are so overextended that we don’t have the time or energy to make friends. We don’t set aside a night or weekend to be together. Individualism has trained us to isolate. Our safe lives has led us down a path where we don’t need each other for survival.

Adding to the fact that men isolate to protect themselves from vulnerability and insecurity, they have egos that don’t permit them to admit they are lonely. A recent study by the Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness found that 35% of men claim they are experiencing loneliness at least once per week, but you will rarely find a man who will publicly admit that fact.

Loneliness is a Symptom of Isolation

If we track loneliness to its root, we find that it’s usually a sign of emotional and relational isolation. There is an overwhelming expectation on men in our time to have it all together. That pressure leads us to keep our feelings to ourselves. We do not lean on others when we need to figure something out. It’s just not manly to ask for help or admit weakness. This leads to us getting more and more emotionally involved in decisions we have to make or problems we are facing. Humans need outside observers to objectively advise them on paths to take. When we don’t have a trusted group of men in our lives, we are leaving ourselves vulnerable to emotional contamination in our decision making process.

Proverbs 11:14 – Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.

It’s time we re-engage with men who we trust to give us wise counsel from their objective observations of our situation. Isolating ourselves emotionally and physically from other men prevents us from getting this deep need met.

Living in Community is a Command of Scripture

Galatians 6:2 – Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the Law of Christ.

Ecclesiastes 4:19 – Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice.

Scripture is very clear throughout the Bible that inherent in man is a need for others. There are 59 times in the New Testament alone that instruct us how we are to relate to “one-another.” We were intentionally given both strengths and weaknesses so that we must lean on others in the Body of Christ to live our fullest lives. Romans 12:10 commands us to “be devoted to one another in brotherly love.” It doesn’t get much clearer than that.

God’s best is for us to live in community with one another as we journey through the challenges and victories of life.

Confession of Sin is a Path to Healing

One of the most important functions of having people in your life who will love you where you are is the act of confessing sins. James, the brother of Jesus, commands it in his book of the New Testament. He says to, “confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.” Seriously, that’s a big deal. Confession of sin can bring healing as our brothers pray for us.

Confessing that we are sinners is great, but confessing specific sin is healing. Confessing sin to other men can be extremely intimidating. Every group will experience this differently. The details shared will vary based on a number of factors. But the key is not to judge when sin is confessed. Encouragement and prayer is the key to healing.

Five Solutions to Our Loneliness and Isolation Problem

Find a group of men who will listen, sharpen iron, and pray with you.
Put your pride aside, open your mouth and tell someone what’s going on in your life.
Be willing to ask the hard questions to the men you want to journey with.
Set the example and be the first to confess sin or share challenges with your friends.
Prioritize meeting with other men and don’t make excuses when it’s time to meet.

With Practice Community Will Become the Norm

The past year has been a huge leap for me in my faith and victory over the challenges of life. After a huge business failure and some very bad decisions on my part, I realized that to heal the wounds as quickly as possible, I needed to have men in my life that could hear the truth and pray for deep healing in my soul. I chose to take the risk and talk to a few men who helped me know the truth about what I’d been through. They, in turn, reminded me of my identity when my enemy was screaming accusations at me. The more I shared with these men, the easier it became. Confession, repentance, and counsel in a group setting is now one of my most treasured possessions.

Personal Vision Statement – 6 Types

Fri, 09 May 2025 18:56:18 +0000

Stuck in the DAILY GRIND?

Me too – sometimes.

If you’re like me, it fluctuates. I swing like a pendulum from disengaged and bored with life to feeling like I have a battle to fight and a victory to win. I’ve spent a lot of time recently trying to discern what the pendulum hangs on. I think it has something to do with whether I’m adjusting my life to live into my personal vision statement.

Personal Vision

Over the years, I have noticed that there are broad categories that personal visions fit into. The type of personal vision may determine the next steps in aligning to the BLUEPRINTS embedded in your ORIGINAL DESIGN.

Paul’s teaching in Ephesians 2:10 blows my mind every time I re-read it.

For we are His (God’s) WORKMANSHIP, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which He PREPARED BEFOREHAND so that we would walk in them – Paul in Ephesians 2:10

It is totally beyond my ability to imagine that GOD considered my life before time began. He chose the time in history and location on the planet I would exist. And He actually knit me together in my mother’s womb. He perfectly designed me to accomplish GOOD WORKS that he planned for me to accomplish.

SERIOUSLY! It’s crazy to think about.

And God expects us to embrace that reality and direct our lives in ways that would facilitate those good works!

General Christian Vision vs. Personal Life Vision

For those who follow Jesus, there is a general vision for their life that is common to all other followers of Christ. There are several places that teach us about that common vision. One place we find common vision is in the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) to make disciples by baptizing and teaching others to obey the command of Christ. Another common vision is in the Great Commandment (Matthew 22:36-40.) We are instructed to love the Lord God with all our hearts, souls, and minds and love our neighbor as yourself. Those are given for believers and should be embraced by all followers of Christ.

In addition to these common visions, there are specific plans He has for each of us individually. There are several places in scripture that indicate this as well, but none more clear than Ephesians 2:10, which teaches

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. – The Apostle Paul in Ephesians 2:10

Unique Personal Vision

Other passages teach us that we were uniquely designed for purposes that will advance God’s strategy on Earth. We are characters in his story (his-story) with specific tasks assigned to us to advance his plan for creation. He chose the time in history, place on the planet, and people in our lives in order to fulfill His purposes.

“From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.'”
– The Apostle Paul in Acts 17:26-28

Types of Personal Vision

Here are 6 types of personal visions, a common example, and a Biblical example of each. Potential next steps for pursuing each type of personal vision follow. A personal vision is written as if a person is looking back on what his/her life accomplished.

The true vision for our lives comes from God’s heart and our original design. It will be the place where our desires and God’s heart align to a preferred future.

“Visions are born in the soul of a man or woman who is consumed with tension between what is and what could be.“-Andy Stanley in “Visioneering” (Buy It Here)

6 Types of Personal Vision and Vision Statement Examples

Mission Vision

A vision mission is a vision to make an impact on a specific people group and/or related to a specific need. It is marked by an emotional connection for that specific people group or a deep compassion to meet a need or see a change for the better.

Example: I invested my life into impacting the people of Nicaragua by helping provide nutritional education and healthy food to the children of the country. I saw thousands of children become healthy adults as a result of our work and many of those developed a personal relationship with God.

Biblical Example of Moses

Moses was sympathetic for and passionate about his people of origin. God spoke to him in a burning bush (of all things) to catalyze that passion and give him a vision to deliver his people from oppression and slavery.

Genesis 3:9-10: “Now, behold, the cry of the sons of Israel has come to Me; furthermore, I have seen the oppression with which the Egyptians are oppressing them. 10 “Therefore, come now, and I will send you to Pharaoh, so that you may bring My people, the sons of Israel, out of Egypt.”

Steps forward for a Mission Vision:

Learn as much as you can about the people group your have compassion for.
Take a short-term mission trip to serve among the people.
Find organizations who invest in the issue your are passionate about.
Search out programs and organizations committed to your people group or issue.

Professional Vision

A professional vision is a vision to excel in a particular practice or skill in order to solve a problem for others or impact the future in a positive way. A professional vision is marked by a deep desire to be one’s absolute best at their chosen profession.

Example: I lived my best life in my legal profession in order to advocate for those who couldn’t defend themselves. I had the honor of helping hundreds of people who didn’t have the ability to help themselves. As a result, people more fully understand Jesus care for matters of their lives.

Biblical Example of Joseph

Joseph overcame the difficult experiences of his childhood, including rejection by his family. He caught a vision to be the best leader he could be and rose to the level of highest leadership in Egypt.

Genesis 39:2-4: “The Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man. And he was in the house of his master, the Egyptian. 3 Now his master saw that the Lord was with him and how the Lord caused all that he did to prosper in his hand. 4 So Joseph found favor in his sight and became his personal servant; and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he owned he put in his charge.”

Steps Forward for a Professional Vision

Get the appropriate education to excel at your profession.
Never lose a love for learning about your profession or skill.
Find one or more mentors to help you excel in your profession or skill.
Determine how to position yourself to learn as much as you can about your profession.

Entrepreneurial Vision

An entrepreneurial vision is a vision to start something from nothing and see it through to self-sustainability. You find these visions in founders of both companies, churches and para-church ministries. Often, the same indicators and skills are evident in a persons whether they are business entrepreneurs, church planters or ministry founders. The difference is the context or call God gives them to function in.

Example: As a result of trusting God, taking risks and gathering like-minded people, I started and developed an organization to help deliver you girls from the sex trade. That organization will continue to change lives for generations as we developed it into a self-sustaining multi-generational community..

Biblical Example of Solomon

Solomon inherited his vision from his father to build a “house for the LORD” (the first temple in Jerusalem.) He had tremendous skills to cast vision to his leaders, identify what support he needed from supporters, pull together the needed resources to accomplish the vision and see it through to sustainability.

1 Chronicles 29:1: Then King David said to the entire assembly, “My son Solomon, whom alone God has chosen, is still young and inexperienced and the work is great; for the temple is not for man, but for the Lord God.

Steps Forward for an Entrepreneurial Vision

Look into the future and “see” the finished product (visualization)
Start writing down details and document what you “see”
Research the “market” to find discover who you will serve and what you can develop to serve them contextually
Seek out other entrepreneurially gifted leaders and see what makes them tick

Values Vision

Some people wrap the vision of their lives around a set of values. There is a commitment to trust that they will be rewarded for their commitment. And if not rewarded, the payoff is in the values themselves. The Bible even teaches that we are rewarded in eternity after this world passes away.

Example: Although I wasn’t perfect in my attempt, I lived my life with integrity. I left an example to my children and grand-children. I modeled that it is better to be honest rather than rich, humble rather than powerful, and vulnerable rather than having a haughty reputation.

Biblical Example of Daniel

There were several commitments Daniel made to God that put him at risk of losing his life under the hand of the King of Babylon when he was captured and taken as a slave. The fact that he may face persecution and even execution didn’t deter him from living out his values vision. And in the end God greatly rewarded him for staying faithful.

Daniel 1:8: But Daniel made up his mind that he would not defile himself with the king’s choice food or with the wine which he drank.

Steps Forward for a Values Vision

Spend some time studying about the values you want to live out.
Resolve that you will be willing to sacrifice for the sake of your values.
Pray for God to solidify that commitment in your heart.
Post reminders in places where you regularly see them to remind you to stay faithful to your values.

Resource Vision

A resource vision is a vision to make a huge impact by obtaining a specific resource to give to the accomplishment of that goal. People with a resource vision prioritize and strategize making or raising specific amounts of money or recruiting the right team of people to accomplish a goal.

Example: Throughout my life, I was able to invest my energy into making money to support the advancement of God’s plan. I gave away 80% of my income to serve people in ways that brought them into the Kingdom of God. My greatest accomplishment was giving 1 million dollars to help foster kids have a better life.

Biblical Example of Nehemiah

Nehemiah was taken into exile into a foreign country and lost touch with what was happening in his homeland. The news of the crumbled walls in Jerusalem wrecked him. The likelihood that he could return to his homeland and amass the resources and recruit the people required to rebuild the walls was almost nil. But he committed to doing what he could. And as he began to get the favor of the king and the people. The vision became closer and closer to reality until the project was completed in an unreasonably short period of time.

Nehemiah 2:7-8: “If it please the king, let letters be given me for the governors of the provinces beyond the River, that they may allow me to pass through until I come to Judah, and a letter to Asaph the keeper of the king’s forest, that he may give me timber to make beams for the gates of the fortress which is by the temple, for the wall of the city and for the house to which I will go.”

Steps Forward for a Resource Vision

Engage in compassion for others and needs they are facing.
Take your compassion to God in prayer and ask for creativity and resourcefulness to meet a need.
Pray for the favor of God in business and relationships.
Prepare yourself to make changes in your life to facilitate your resource vision.

Legacy Vision

Folks with a legacy vision have a heightened passion to invest in future generations. This can involve family legacies, business legacies or ministry legacies. These people orient their lives around working for a better future. They will invest deeply in the up-and-coming generation.

Example of Legacy Vision: I worked hard to invest in the younger generations so that the generations to come will have a better foundation to build upon as they do their part to make the world a better place. My children have what they need to be a blessing to their children. My company has a more stable platform to continue to build upon. And my church is a little farther along in their mission to represent God in our community.

Biblical Example of Abraham

God chose Abraham to leave behind the legacy of leading a chosen people. This people would represent the work of God on Earth. Abraham’s promise from God was that he’d provide LAND, so that his PEOPLE would be a BLESSING to future generations. Abraham left his homeland to do the hard work of providing a new domain for his people.

Genesis 17:6-8: I will make you very fertile. I will produce nations from you, and kings will come from you. 7 I will set up my covenant with you and your descendants after you in every generation as an enduring covenant. I will be your God and your descendants’ God after you. 8 I will give you and your descendants the land in which you are immigrants, the whole land of Canaan, as an enduring possession. And I will be their God. – Genesis 17:6-8

Steps Forward in a Legacy Vision

Seek out someone in a younger generation who had leadership potential.
Invest in the growth of your younger and disciplable leaders.
Consider what you can do to lay a path for those coming after you to succeed.
Communicate your confidence in the your young leaders.

What TYPE of personal vision has God deeply embedded into your ORIGINAL DESIGN?

If you have a clue, share it with me in an email by CLICKING HERE.

Characteristics of a Righteous Person

Fri, 09 May 2025 18:47:51 +0000

Sometimes you run across a passage in the Bible that is so packed with information that you just have to store it away and chew on it over time. That’s what I found in Proverbs 12 this morning. When Solomon wrote this Proverb, he was contrasting the righteous or upright person with the evil person. He outlines some characteristics of a righteous person.

There was so much truth that all I knew to do was to bullet point it for future processing. Below is a bullet point list of characteristics of the upright man in Proverbs 12.

Characteristics of the Upright Person

loves discipline and knowledge
obtains favor from the Lord
condemns evil
not established by wickedness
has just thoughts
gives wise words and counsel
his/her house will stand
praised for insight
has regard for the life of his/her animals (livestock/resources of his/her work)
tills his/her land (works hard)
yields fruit
will escape from trouble
satisfied by fruit of his/her words
gets a return on investments
listens to counsel
conceals dishonor
tells truth and speaks what is right
his/her words bring healing
his/her truth established forever
finds joy in being a counselor of peace
no harm befalls the righteous
keeps secrets well
his/her good words brings gladness
guides his neighbor
his/her precious possession is diligence
his/her ways lead to life

The depths of living a life of faith can be overwhelming, but I’m glad we can never outgrow the deep truths of faith! Let’s work to develop some of these characteristics of a righteous person.

5 of the Most Impactful Books in My Life

Fri, 09 May 2025 18:42:20 +0000

The Power of Reading Impactful Books

note: any links clicked on in this article are affiliate links and we will get a small commission off your purchases to support the work of ourbestlife.com

Our Best Story is about life-on-life discipleship. On helpful analogy is what happened in the Civil War. Soldiers gathered at the Civil War camp and recovered from the days battle as they got ready to fight the following day. One of the key elements of the Civil War camp experience was getting re-armed . Soldiers would clean their firearms, get new ammo, and make sure their uniforms were intact. Impactful books can play that role for us in our day-to-day battles.

Following that model, one of the values of Our Best Life is sharing resources that will help us grow in our fight against mediocrity, obstacles, and the challenge of living lives on our own battlefields.

So with that in mind, I wanted to share with you 5 of the most impactful books of my life.

They are in no particular order and this is way far from being an exhaustive list.

Here we go!

Five Impactful Books of My Life (plus a bonus book)

Abraham Lincoln and the Men of War Times by A.K. McClure

I found this treasure a couple years ago when our family was vacationing near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. The Midtown Scholar is probably the coolest bookstore I’ve ever visited. It is owned by the Mayor of Harrisburg, the capital of Pennsylvania and it did not disappoint – three floors and one of the largest collection of rare, antique and vintage books in the country.

You can find signed volumes of some of the greatest writers in the history of the world all the way down to used copies of today’s mass marketed paperbacks. There is a huge collection of Civil War volumes, and tucked back in the very back of the rows of books I found this jewel!

It is a first edition and was written in 1892 by a man that worked very closely with Lincoln and documented how he interacted and leveraged the gifts of the key leaders that worked alongside him. Lincoln was a master at setting aside his personal agenda and opinions and allowing his leaders to contribute knowledge and wisdom to help him determine the next steps forward that best served the people of the country.

Lincoln even worked closely with men who had previously back-stabbed and fought against him if it meant he’d be better serving the people. This had a huge impact on how I view teammates and the greater purpose of serving people over serving self.

The Forgotten Ways by Alan Hirsch

This book radically changed my paradigm of missional church ministry. Alan sets forth a model of the church that values following Christ in being incarnational to the world. Jesus willingly left his Father’s side to live a difficult life providing creation a path back to the heart of God. As the church, we should be willing to do the same.

He deals with the schisms in the body, lays out a path to communitas (deepened commuity), teaches on the value of liminality (shared struggle),and presents the functions of Ephesians 4:11 as the model for viral church multiplication.

It was a game-changer for my paradigm of Church and how I express my ministry and build community. That’s why it made my list of impactful books.

Leadership by Rudolph Guiliani

No matter your political bent, you’ve got to respect the leadership of a man who transformed the largest city in America from one of the highest crime rates to one of the lowest among large cities. Rudy also helped millions of people navigate the war zone of September 11th and the chaos that followed.

Most people who worked for Rudy loved him because they saw how much he cared for the people of New York City.

This book walks you through Rudy’s system of leadership that transformed the city. His big message is that you can’t deal with the huge problems if you don’t have the little ones under control, so start there. A great model for leadership of people and especially for self-leadership. Even Jesus taught about the value of stewarding the small things.

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

Writers beware! This book will get you fired up about writing. Anne is an amazing writer of both fiction, non-fiction and memoirs. You may or may not like her political and/or spiritual views, I certainly struggle with many of them, but you can’t deny that this lady has an amazing perspective on writing.

From laying down your “shitty first draft” to finding your voice to knowing when your done, she takes you through the whole process. My confidence in and enthusiasm for writing was shifted to overdrive when I read this book.

Whether you are brand new to writing or a seasoned author, I’d highly recommend picking this up and consuming it. It is funny, witty, personal and inspirational. It is one of the most impactful books for writers I’ve found.

The Spiritual Man by Watchman Nee

Yes. Some call him an Eastern Christian mystic. Yes. The English translation is repetitive and simplistic. Yes. It sometimes requires reading the same passage three or four times to absorb it. And yes, this book radically changed my life. (my copy is a little worn out HA!)

Found in this book is the deepest, most comprehensive and logically defined concept of the tripartite man, body, soul, and spirit. Seriously, it rocked my world and helped me conquer the battle of placing my mind, will and emotion (soul) under the care of my spirit (the once dead component of my person which can communicate with the Holy Spirit.) This took me to the next level in fighting against the sinful flesh.

Intuition, emotion, affection, knowledge, wisdom, conscience – it all begins to make sense as you read through this work. If you want to take your understanding of man and his relationship with God to the next level, this is a good option. That’s why I put it on my impactful books list.

Bonus Book: One from Many by Dee Hock

Note: This was also published as “Birth of the Chaordic Age”

Warning: Dee is probably some degree of a post-modern universalist, so please don’t read this as a theology book. But, if you can get past that, it is a life-changing portrayal of love of man for humanity. This book presents a concept of a “non-monetary exchange of value” that is the closest non-christian example of Christianity I’ve ever heard.

The basics: there is value greater than economic value. As a matter of fact, there is a value that money can’t buy. We can exchange it with others and create a better world. Dee coined the term “Chaord.” It is the concept that there is a magic place somewhere at the intersection of order and chaos where transformational energy occurs. It is an earthly description of that magic place where law and grace intersect. Dee just didn’t know he was talking about God (wink.)

I have applied this principal in every area of my life and I will write more about it on The Campfire as time passes. In basic terms, movement and momentum must be initiated by a burst of energy. But without a sustaining system, that energy dissipates quickly into complacency and non-movement. If a sustaining system can intersect with the explosive momentum, viral multiplication can happen.

Conclusion: Impactful Books Can Shift the Direction of Life

I’ve got one thing to say – READ! And read impactful books. And when you’re done, read some more. Just absorbing wisdom from the people who have been there – done that can radically impact how you influence those around you. And read lots of different types of books. Represented in this short list are history, instructional, philosophical, spiritual and personal growth. Be strong. Don’t be afraid to read something out of the box. Ask the Lord for wisdom. All truth is God’s truth and if an atheistic scientist has stumbled upon something that is absolutely true – then it first belonged to God.

Now, don’t mistake what I am saying. You must Filter your reading through the Word of God and let that be your standard bearer. Be careful to weigh every concept. You will find truth in all sorts of places. God was big enough to speak through a donkey. Hell, Paul says all creation reveals the glory of God.

Happy Reading!

Social Barriers and Discipleship – Breaking the Code

Thu, 08 May 2025 17:53:01 +0000

My wife loves the painting below. It hangs in our kids’ bathroom. Honestly, I never got much out of it, but I think to her it speaks to the innocence of children pre-prejudice. For all of us, it should be a lesson of overcoming social barriers that divide us.

Why Should I Connect with People I Don’t Like or Agree With?

Great Question!

Quick Answer: Jesus loves them.

The last words Jesus left his disciples as he was leaving, was a command to GO! Go – and make disciples. Where you live. The next town over. And even all the way to the other side of the Earth. (Acts 1:8 NKV – New Kevin Version HAHA!)

A disciple is a follower of the teachings of Jesus. He said EVERYONE is a potential disciple – even people overseas or just next door. Well, I can tell you that lots of those people are very different from you. But God commanded us to go anyway.

Another Quick Answer: Jesus breaks down every dividing wall.

Ephesians refers to the wall in the temple beyond which Gentiles were not allowed to pass – the wall that separated the Jew from the Gentile. Paul states that Jesus broke down that wall, making the two groups one people. Jesus is in the business of destroying any prejudice we have toward others.

How Do I Connect with People Who Are Different from Me?

Another Great Question!

Here are some thoughts from my discussion with Keith Matthews, a Christian healthcare worker in an AIDS clinic in Alabama.

1.) Social Barriers? Find Common Ground

Common ground is the doorway to the heart.

Whether the differences are racial, socio-economic, lifestyle related or even theological, you can always find some common ground. And when you find the common ground, you are knocking on the door of their heart.

Common ground could include a belief, a value, or even a favorite movie or television show. Keith talks about finding common ground with an atheistic boss with The Office television show! That was the door to open up deeper conversations. And it was also just fun to laugh with her.

2.) See Them Not As An Enemy, But Simply a Product of Their Past

Anytime I approach someone through the lens of how they are against me or what I believe or how I live, I immediately get on the defense.

But, when I discipline myself to see every person through the filter of the brokenness of their previous experience, I am able to have compassion and love for them. This is even true when I abhor their theological stance or lifestyle choices. View every relationship as an opportunity to love others toward Jesus and healing.

3.) Ask Jesus to Let You See Them Through His Eyes

I know, I know. It sounds cliche, but it’s true. It’s hard to dislike the people you pray for. This is especially true when you are asking God to allow you to see the hurt or deception that led people to live unhealthy lifestyles or make bad choices.

And if it’s something like a theological matter, just know that no one has the market cornered 100% when it comes to truth. Approach others with humility and patience. Jesus prayed for us when He prayed for future believers in John 17:20-21. Of all the prayers He could have prayed, He chose to pray that we would be ONE just as He and the Father were ONE!

Wow! Hard to believe. His goal for us is to be one in mind and spirit as much as He and the Father are ONE. That sounds ridiculous. But then He tells us why He longs for that – that the world may believe that the Father sent Him for us! It’s worth the extra effort to love other members of the Body of Christ.

Final Thoughts Social Barriers

Our faith is not an excuse to ignore or avoid people different from us, but a mandate to connect with them and to break social barriers. There is tremendous richness when we choose to get outside our comfort zone and engage with those who would otherwise make us uncomfortable.

Leadership in Uncertain Times

Thu, 08 May 2025 17:13:29 +0000

I wish I could say I came up with these principles and then immediately lived them out, but it wouldn’t be true. Unfortunately, I learned them the hard way during the Coronavirus COVID-19 quarantine. Fortunately, my wife and I are still together (praise God for commitment) and we came out on the other side with some areas of growth that we weren’t expecting. This minor marriage challenge taught me some principles for leadership in uncertain times.

Leadership in Uncertain Times – Some Hard Lessons

Principle #1: Personally Prioritize Reason Over Emotion

An ability to maintain a clear mind in the midst of struggle is a key characteristic of a great leader (i.e. a military leader in the chaos of war.) To make the right decisions in the midst of chaos requires a disciplined mind not influenced by irrational emotions. Great leaders have the ability to master their emotions in order to lead their followers toward rational decisions.

Principle #2: Relationally Prioritize Emotion Over Reason

A leader maintaining a clear mind in order to make right decisions must nurture his followers emotionally in order to get them to a place where they can, in turn, think clearly.

I learned a few years ago that the mind cannot think and emote simultaneously. This was a huge win for me in parenting. I learned that if one of my kids was in an emotional meltdown, I could de-escalate them by asking them to solve a problem – even something as simple as a math equation. That would immediately force them out of their emotional state.

Great leaders start by meeting the emotional needs of their followers before requiring them to think reasonably. Relating to your folks in this way will support your leadership in uncertain times.

Principle #3: Choose Your Battles Well

You’ve heard it before, and it’s super relevant to this discussion. All battles do not have equal spoils. In other words, you have to choose the battles that will most effectively and efficiently benefit the most people with the best results. Sometimes it’s even wisest to surrender in order to avoid a “nobody wins” scenario.

Principle #4: Integrity is to Confess Your Failures – Do it Quickly

Integrity (noun) – adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

To be honest is to admit your screw-ups and your struggles with overcoming your unhealthy patterns. That is SO HARD for me to do. I’m fine with admitting my screw-ups, there’s a bunch of them. I just struggle with how to communicate that in a way that is repentant and expresses my sorrow for how I behaved.

Principle #5: Follow Early So You Can Lead When the Time is Right

There is a time to lead and a time to follow – times when you have to choose to provide for others’ security by listening and submitting in order to have the credibility you need when it’s time to lead the charge. We must invest in and earn our leadership of those around us.

Principle #6: Steward the Whole Experience

Times of instability and uncertainty are times that are ripe for growth. They push us to the limit of (and sometimes beyond) what we think we can do. Muscle building happens when we stretch and break down our muscles. Emotional and spiritual growth happens when we stretch our comfort zone and faith. Leadership in uncertain times is leveraging the discomfort for growth.

Principle #7: Focus Others on What You Have, Not What You Lack

In times of instability and uncertainty, we often lack what we usually have in abundance. That includes money, security, clarity, vision, and sometimes even food or other physical resources (uh… toilet paper for example.) One of the best ways to counterbalance that lack is to focus those around you on what you have been given. Remind those around you what is most important. Remind them that everything is going to be OK. Remind them that God has never failed you and there’s no reason to believe He will start failing you now. In Viktor Frankel’s ridiculously amazing book, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” he notes that as he watched hundreds of men live and die in the Nazi concentration camps, he realized that those who survived were the ones who noticed things as small as a little flower just outside the boundary fence of the camp.

Principle #8: Provide Relational Stability in the Midst of Social Instability

In times of uncertainty, sometimes it feels like all we have is each other. It is important to work hard to communicate the stability of your relationship with others. Reinforce your commitment and love and let them know that if every other security fades away, your love and commitment to them will endure.

Bonus Principle: When All Else is Questionable Stick with Your Core Personal Values

Something that never changes, no matter what is going on around you is core personal values and your personal life mission! When the going gets tough, turn to what got you there to start with. Cling to the things that matter and trust the people who got you there.

What has been your biggest challenge leading through uncertain times?

Thanks to Brett Sayles from Pexels for the cover photo!

Let’s Talk Commission – The Great One (The Great Commission)

Thu, 08 May 2025 16:19:12 +0000

com·mis·sion | kə-ˈmi-shən – an authorization or command to act in a prescribed manner or to perform prescribed acts.

There are several definitions in Merriam-Webster that would probably fit the Great Commission Jesus gave us in Matthew 28:18-20, but I think the one above is fitting. It includes behavior and action. In other words, a disciple has a personal responsibility to represent Jesus to others and to give of himself in some specific activities that will incubate their spiritual lives.

All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. | Matt. 28:18-20.

The Urgency of Last Words

I love grave yards.

My kids think I’m a little deranged in that area. Sometimes I just walk through and read the snippets written on the head stones and imagine the stories of the lives represented by those engraved memorial stones. Here’s one I saw a couple weeks ago.

Mary Elizabeth – Wife of W.S. Hurt. Born April 8, 1836. Died March 19, 1916

“Through all pain at times she’d smile”

What pain did she suffer?

What gave her the courage to smile?

Then I wondered about her last words? Who knows – maybe Mary Elizabeth said, “The pain is a grain of sand compared to the ocean of love my life has known.”

Last words for those who are fortunate enough to die with a clear mind carry so much weight. They are the culmination of all the things one would want to say to the people who are most important to them – a last chance to leave a legacy.

The Great Commission was the final word of the Savior of all humanity and the answer to every problem we’ll ever face. It was His final instruction to those who had adopted a life driven by His heart and abandoned to His purpose.

It’s a BIG DEAL for His followers!

We Don’t Need Another Voice

Jesus was clear in the commission that His Word was the final word on the subject. He had ALL AUTHORITY to commission this new faith movement – and he was careful to remind us. Not just authority here on Earth, but even the authority of the heavens. We should not be waiting on an initiative given to us by our church leaders or some other organization to know how we are to walk out this radical life with Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, we can gain some clarity on the how-to’s of disciple-making. That’s when instruction and guidance becomes helpful.

But, we do not need a new…

innovative plan
trendy organization
flashy church program
robust budget

Everything we need to fully live into the commission He has given us is available.

Now, it can be helpful to partner up with a group that is training in methods and providing tools to fulfill our commission. There are some wonderful networks of leaders and churches totally focused on the effort of making disciples. But, at the heart of fulfilling the final directives of Jesus, we have all we need.

The Directives

Jesus very rarely – VERY RARELY – gave us a detailed outline of how to live out our faith. Even His closest followers could get frustrated with his abundance of circular parables. And he loved to challenge his disciples to figure truth out from his meaningful stories, when all they wanted was a bullet-point list.

These last words, however, were important enough to Him that ambiguity was off limits. He actually left us action points in a clear list of directives.

Go (best translated “as you are going”)

This is a lifestyle statement. It suggests that, wherever we find ourselves, we are to be about the efforts of leading others to Jesus and strengthening their relationship with Him. You can (or should) make disciples:

At home among your family
In the place where you work
Among the place where you gather for worship
At the places where you recreate

Others will be compelled to live among other cultures or in other countries. The place and the people are irrelevant. The lifestyle of intentional disciple-making is paramount.

Make Disciples of All Nations

How do we “MAKE” disciples? Great question.

First, we have to understand what a disciple is.

Disciple – a person who is a pupil or an adherent of the doctrines of another.

A disciple of Jesus is a person who has accepted Jesus as the True Word of God and has committed to yield his or her own desires, understanding, behaviors to the desires, understanding and behaviors of Christ. Therefore, he or she is one who works to have the mind of Christ as taught in Philippians 2:5.

Although discipleship comes in many forms, the function never changes. How we make disciples can look different, but if those forms are not leading to a reformation of mind, discipleship is not taking place.

We also find that the function of disciple making is directed toward all people with no exceptions. If someone is drawn to follow Jesus, no cultural, social, economic, or any other factor excludes them from discipleship.

Baptizing Them

Baptism is a reference point for a decision to follow Christ. God looks for a clear decision from us to follow him. He/she must turn and follow Jesus into discipleship. This point of decision is critical for conversion. And it is a moment marked by decision when a person determines to yield his life to Christ. Decision is the cornerstone of a life with Jesus.

Teaching Them to Obey (observe my commandments)

Teaching is a process.

It cannot happen in a day or a month or a year. Teaching never ends, in fact.

Learning is the fruit of teaching and we learn until we die.

There are many teaching styles, tools and techniques, but the goal of teaching is a change of mind and/or behavior. Teaching always has a goal. The fruit of teaching when it comes to disciple making is OBEDIENCE.

In order for disciples to obey the teaching of Jesus, they must know what those teachings are. God determined to leave His teachings in the form of a book. The Bible is the source of knowledge on the teaching of Jesus. With all that said, it is important for us to understand that our primary curriculum for making disciples is the written Word of God.

The Final Word

So, that, my friend, is the final Word of Jesus to his followers. It is the climax and purpose of all His teachings during his days among us. Anything we add to or take away from the great commission depletes the resources available to us. We must do the work commissioned to us by Jesus himself.

Let’s get busy, but let’s focus our busyness on doing the RIGHT things.